Attention: The Bathrooms are clean!!!

This week I have had the privilege to attend the online Expo from The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. Thanks to my lovely 18 year old who has run the house in my stead with such grace and joy, I have been allowed me to listen without care.

Yesterday, was a special day. Not only did I, once again, get to enjoy the conference with little distraction but she took the kids away and I was actually home…alone.

During my devotional time in the morning I was reading in Proverbs 31 and was reminded that a virtuous woman looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Since, on this particular day I was not confined in my sewing room listening to the laptop, I decided I would make use of its mobility and get some things done while listening…and so, I cleaned the bathrooms.

I didn’t just clean the bathrooms, I CLEANED the bathrooms. I scrubbed from top to bottom, every surface I could find and reach. I scrubbed the shower curtains on the driveway with a mop, I cleaned the rugs, the closets, the baseboards, the cabinets, literally anything I could get my rag and magic sponge on. I don’t think our bathrooms have been this clean since we built our house 5 years ago, as a matter of fact, I am sure some of what I cleaned was construction grime.

At some points during my cleaning operation, my thoughts wondered off to my husband. “What would he think of these bathrooms being so clean? Is he going to hug me, offer thanks, give me flowers, praise me in front of the children for my service and dedication?” Then, as I came back into the realm of reality, I realized the truth is….he really isn’t going to care and quite possibly won’t even notice. He definitely would not understand the magnitude of the whole event and undertaking.

So why am I exhausting myself to “super-clean” these bathrooms when I could just minimally clean them and no one would be the wiser? Well, because a virtuous woman looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Jesus said in Matthew 6 to be careful not to do your deeds to be seen by men because it’s our Heavenly Father who offers and gives the true reward. I want and desire to have an excellent spirit before the Lord in everything I do, to be seen by Him alone and to know that when I joyfully serve my family or whomever the Lord has placed before me, the reward is in knowing that it pleases my God. So whether my children and husband realize the lack of bacteria clinging to their feet when they exit the shower today, I know…and God knows.

And, by the way, Craig did not notice, or if he did, he did not say anything…but it bothers me not!! My joy in serving my wonderful husband is made complete because ultimately it was in serving my King!!

Striving to live for His glory, Regina

The Law of Kindness

 Proverbs 31:26  …on her tongue is the law (torah)

 of kindness (loving kindness and mercy)

The word law in this passage is the word torah, which is used through out the Old Testament when speaking of God’s law, not just the Levitical law, but also the expression of the God’s desires and character. Before the Levital law was given he spoke to Abraham…

            Genesis 26:5  “…because Abraham obeyed My voice and kept My charge, My commandments, My statutes, and My laws (torah)."

The word torah expresses the idea of precept or statute, something by which we govern ourselves. Kindness is a principle weeded throughout scripture from beginning to end, while we have a God who condemns sin and requires obedience, He remains loving, merciful and kind. As God has instructed us in the new covenant to show kindness, so in the Levitical law (torah), he commanded His people to operate in love. (For instance, in Lev 25:35-38 they were told to lend to the poor and help out the stranger. In Lev 19:15 they were told not to honor one person above another. In Lev 19:16-18 they were commanded not to speak evil of others, tell false stories about others, or to hate someone in their heart or hold a grudge. In Leb 19:16-18 they were told not to mistreat strangers, but to love them as themselves. There are others, all of these are New Testament principles revealed in the law)

So how do we get the “law of kindness” to reside on our tongue?

              

        Matthew 15:18  But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.

Jesus reminds us that what comes from our mouth begins in our hearts. Often it is not our tongue we need to change but rather our hearts. Paul encouraged the church at Ephesus to…

Ephesians 4:31-5:2  Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma     

So clearly, we are called to love and kindness to replace “bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking”. As disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ and virtuous women we should have this law (guiding principle) on our hearts and flowing from our mouths.

Every person you come in contact with today has the potential to provoke you to anger or impatience. When our response is anger, it is not the fault of the offending person, but rather a realization that kindness is not the law of our hearts. It is often our view of that person that propels our response, especially when we have expectations towards that person such as we have of our husbands and children. We expect our husbands to love us and we may expect our children to respect us and obey and when our expectations are not met our response is anger. We need to remember that we, ourselves, have been forgiven by a loving Savior because of His love for us, in spite of our sinfulness, and so we too, should forgive the other sinners in our lives and “walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us”.

Lamentations 3:22-23  Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

Philippians 2:3-5  Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,

When someone offends us we should be thankful that God has shown us an area in that person’s life that we can pray for them, encourage them, and encourage them to good works, remembering the work He has done in us! When a child directly disobeys and our response is exasperation and anger, then our sin is greater than theirs. Rather, we should use it as a loving opportunity to direct their path through loving discipline (not punishment) and humility (lowliness of mind).

The word kind that is used in Ephesians 4:32 is chrēstos (khrase-tos') often translated- better, easy, good (-ness), gracious, kind. When instruction to our children is given in a deep love and concern for their eternal souls, rather than out of anger because we are offended at how it affects our life or schedule, they will be more likely to not forsake the instruction we are giving them.

Proverbs 13:24  He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Proverbs 29:15  The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

It is important to note, that kindness is not expressed in ignoring undesirable behavior. The Bible clearly commands us to discipline our children and train them in the way they should go. Proverbs 1:8 instructs, “[do] not forsake the law of your mother”. When our instruction is governed by mercy and kindness it will be a delight for our children to learn from us. It is instruction that is kind, not overlooking faults, but gently and consistently guiding and encouraging. As Ephesians 4:14 says “speaking the truth in love.” There is nothing kind about overlooking sin and causing someone to remain in their sin. It is more kind to show them truth, in love, and show them how God has provided a way out of the bondage of sin. Many times Jesus expressed, “go and sin no more”. He corrects sinful behavior as a part of our sanctification process in this life, he does not condone or overlook sin. While our behavior does not earn us the right to eternal life, it is an indication of whether we are truly a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ.

When our children are young their obedience to us is a “practice”, of sorts, of their future obedience to the Lord.  Who we are as parents gives them a picture of our Heavenly Father. If we correct them inconsistently and with an angry spirit, so they will see God as an angry, unstable parent.

John 15:913  "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.

Abiding in the love of Christ in our own life is the answer to abiding in kindness towards our children and anyone we have contact with. It’s this abiding and obeying that causes us to walk in His joy, and be full of that joy, and allow it to overflow from the abundance of our heart.

Books that address these topics

Child Training Tips by Reb Bradley                 

Keeping You Child’s Heart by Steve and Terri Maxwell

A Contented Mother

Contentment

“It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy that

makes happiness.” ~Charles Spurgeon

*In Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary, “content” is defines as “contained within limits; hence, quiet; not disturbed; having a mind at peace; easy; satisfied, so as not to repine, object, or oppose.”

*A. W. Pink defines it as “being satisfied with the sovereign dispensations of God's providence. Instead of complaining at his lot, a contented man is thankful that his condition and circumstances are no   worse than they are. Instead of greedily desiring something more than the supply of his present need, he rejoices that God still cares for him.”

*In the Bible content is from two words. The first word, ARKEO; means "to be possessed of unfailing strength, to be strong, to suffice, to be enough; passively to be satisfied with a thing, contented."  The second, AUTARKEIA describes "a perfect condition of life in which no aid or support is needed; hence, sufficiency of the necessities of life: contentment."

Scriptures on Contentment

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He  Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU."

Philippians 4:11-12, 19-20 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to   be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I  have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. And my God shall  supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.

1Timothy 6:6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose

Philippians 4:6  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let  your requests be made known to God;

External contentment is vital in the life of a believer. It is the opposite of covetousness. In today’s humanistic society it easy to become discontent with our surroundings, our husbands, our looks, our children, etc. We (and our children) are constantly given messages that this life is all about “ME”. Even within the church the message is often that “God wants you happy and wealthy” and so therefore we believe happiness is found in circumstances and things- when true happiness is found in Christ, and Christ alone.  Even in the midst of trials the admonishes us to “rejoice”, in the face of persecution we are told to give thanks- this cannot be done without the supernatural power given to us through the regeneration of our spirits through the Jesus. Contentment is against the natural human nature.

Marks of a Contented Christian Lady

1. Seeks God for her needs, knowing that God is the supreme sovereign provider and finds satisfaction and gratefulness for all that is given.

2.  Does not look longingly at others station in life regarding things, people, physical appearance or health, but accepts what the Lord has given with joy and a desire to bring God glory with all that she has, knowing that He has provided everything for the calling He has on her life.  

3.  Does not complain, but rather seeks to find things to express thankfulness for and, therefore, joy is on display continually in their life.

4. Focuses on the task that God has given her and takes delight in eternal treasures rather than setting her heart on the things of this world. It is God that satisfies all their desires.

**This is the cure for a discontented spirit.

              Colossians 3:1-4  If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.  For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

              Psalm 16:11  You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

               2Corinthians 4:16-18  Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Teaching Our Children the Character of Contentment

We must first recognize that our child’s greatest need is salvation through Christ alone. While contentment can surely be taught as a part of a Morality Curriculum, if it is not done in the context of the gospel, it is as “filthy rags” before the Lord. Contentment, apart from Christ, could surely bring success in this present life, but no amount of character training can bring salvation, but rather true character is a result of salvation.

 Paul did not always have everything he seemed to need. For example in Philippians 4 he was hungry, yet he remained content. Gratification is the satisfying of desires and feelings, but even when done to the point of indulgence, does not guarantee contentment (quiet, at ease and satisfied). Our human nature always wants more, and thus finding contentment is not rooted in fulfilling of desires and seeking of pleasure. Notice in Philippians 4:11 that contentment must be learned, and so we find an occasion where a child can not be left to himself (Proverbs 29:15)

Our first example is Jesus, who possessed little on earth.

            Matthew 8:20  And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head."

And knowing our tendency toward covetousness, He taught specifically on the subject of our possessions.

            Luke 12:15  And He said to them, "Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses."

            Matthew 6:19-21  "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

            Matthew 6:24  "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

            Matthew 6:33  But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Demonstrating contentment in our own life is a powerful tool in instructing our children. Guarding our hearts and our lips and proclaiming gratefulness in all things, even trials, persecutions, and in lack. Let your children see you seek the Lord when needs arise, express faith in His goodness that He is the supreme provider, and joyfully "make do" with what you have.

             1Timothy 6:6-12  Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and  harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all  kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

On a daily basis we must distinguish between “wants” and “needs”. One of the most effective ways to teach contentment is simply allowing your children to go without, or even better when it comes to material things, work hard for it. Rewarding their every craving, whether it is possessions, activities (chores or entertainment), physical appearance (hair, nails, make up, whatever the latest fashion is), time constraints (“Do it now!”) or whatever, breeds a spirit of discontent that can not be satisfied! Rather the desire will just move to it’s next object and await more temporary gratification!

            Proverbs 23:5 Will you set your eyes on that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away like an eagle toward heaven.

Some Character Traits that Cultivate Contentment

GENEROSITY - 2 Cor 9:6, Luke 6:38, 1John 3:17

PATIENCE- Luke 21:19, Rom 2:7, 2Thes 3:5, James 1:2-4

HUMILITY- 1Pet 5:5, Prov 22:4, Prov 16:19

JOYFULNESS- Neh 8:10, Ps 16:11, Prov 17:22, Ps 51:12

AVAILABILITY- Tit 3:1, Matt 16:24-25, Matt 5:16 (simplifying our daily needs so we are ready and able to serve those        whom God brings to us)

GRATEFULNESS- Jam 1:7, 1Thes 5:18, Col 3:16-17

SELF CONTROL- 1Tim 4:15, Ro 12:2, Ro 6:2,11,16, Gal 5:16

From La. Family Vision on teaching children contentment:

Training children to be content is vital to helping them achieve success in life and marriage. It is not to be confused with complacency. Complacency is a stagnant sate of mind in which an individual fails to stretch themselves toward higher achievement. Contentment is finding joy in every season of life.

The opposite of contentment is covetousness. This was the first trick used of Satan in the Garden of Eden. He played on their desire for more [not just material things, but knowledge and independence- RKT].

Contentment is vital to happiness in so many areas of life. Consider the level of contentment in your children/grandchildren. Is there something that you are doing that fosters or hinders the development of contentment in them? Be sure to reward contentment with praise, i.e. “Thank you for being so patient.” “You are so generous to share the last cookie.”